As a white male, I don’t want to be paid for being either of those. Nor do I want someone’s salary to reflect that they are not a white male. Salary should be based on contribution and value to the company and not anything else.
In addition, I have agreed to work a full time - 40 hours per week job - for a company helping them produce a product. I agreed to some amount of compensation when I accepted that position. No one forced me to accept. I’m sure there are people doing the same work for less money and some doing the same work for more money. I can’t really help that.
The ones that need to be open and host are the employers not the employees. That too is difficult.
I know a co-worker who lied about what he made per year. He told others he earned several thousand more per year than he actually did. This caused resentment - not toward the employee, but toward management. That isn’t a good position to be in either.
When I was much younger and newer to the job marked I know I left a substantial amount of money on the table during my first negotiation. Hindsight is good and clear. But I couldn’t dwell on that fact. I had agreed to work for a certain pay and had to continue working hard to improve. I’m still not a good negotiator, but I’ve improved some over the years. Again, the recruiter knew the budget and could have suggested I ask for more. (Yes, that has happened too).
I do feel that referring to the team as a whole as “Gents”, “men”, or “guys” is problematic and stereotypical. I believe in a lot of cases the intention isn’t to make women the outcast, it is just that there isn’t a good substitution. On a team of 4 men and 1 lady it is hard to say “ladies and gents” and even more off-putting to single out the lady with “lady and gents”. “Team” could of course work.
I’m around soccer a lot and even female soccer players should “man on” when a defender is pressing. My guess is it just simpler to say and fewer syllables to get out quickly when time is of the essence.
There are times where non-white, not-males are discriminated against. That is horrible and should be stopped. There are also times - probably fewer - when we look for a slight instead of overlooking a perceived slight. Improvements can be made all around.
It is also really hard for me to compare my current salary with someone without my experience. Since I have 20ish years of experience it is also difficult to compare a new developer’s salary today with what I started out making 20 years ago.
Companies, recruiters, and management are the bests ones to be in a place to make things more equitable not peer team members.